Today I am starting to feel better, thank god. Still tired and could sleep for a week but can move about a bit more. It is so hard to learn how to relax properly and practise the art of doing nothing. Helen left today. Really enjoyed having her around. She played around with my diet and found what works and what makes me feel bad. Meat has become a no no. It makes my heart race, gives me hot sweat and generally ill. My body doesn't seem to be able to digest it. The google queen (Helen) found out that chemo effects your digestion so that might explain why. Even though for the last month I have been blocked up and last night had quite the reverse. Spent about 2 hours on the loo. Not sure which is worse!!
Having a bit of time to myself today with no one around. Ali has taken the boys off for a run around so I am home alone. It does feel strange. You get very use to people being around you all the time and I suppose having company is my safety blanket. I do start to fret a bit when i am on my own, when not feeling great. The thermometer is next to me all the time. Had a call from the calvary and (Evanda) is on route tomorrow for a few days. I do find it very hard that there are conversations happening around me that I have no idea about. Sometimes I want to scream. "I'm bloody here" but I know that it won't do any good. I am learning to just let go and let others organise around me. Helen has put up in the kitchen my diet plan with instructions of what and when. Hilarious really, makes me smile that I am 42 years old and I have a care plan! I know how my Mum and Dad must have felt when we put things in place for Dad. It did drive Mum nuts. I have had Helen bossing me around for the last 6 days and I thought I was bossy!!! Kerry came round and nearly left and she thought I have no chance with you both here!
Feel more cheerful today and smiling while I write this.
No comments:
Post a Comment