Had a better week this week, thankfully. Only one day I had to just hang up my boots for the day. It is really the strangest of feeling, but when it (I think I am going to call them My Cancer Day) hits you it completely takes your feet from underneath you. I woke up feeling really sluggish and as the morning went on it just got worse. It is like it takes over your mind as well as your body and even putting one foot in front of the other seems like such hard work. I did try and work through it, but it was no good I had to give in. I spent most of the morning watching television and work a grand total of 2 hours all day. I suppose for now I need to just get used to things and not try and worry about anything else apart from relaxing. I am looking forward to the next year and hopefully slowly these becoming a distant memory. The next day I woke up and felt great, took Bongo out for a walk with no troubles at all. Just mad how it takes you for one day then goes. I can't even predict when they are going to happen. I did try and analysis the day before and see what I did that might have triggered it but a bit of a pointless effort really. The drugs I am taking could be causing, but who knows.
As you will all know I went on my first date last weekend, which was totally rubbish, but had another one on Friday which I am pleased to say was a lot better. Isn't it funny how company with the opposite sex can make you feel so much better in life. Just someone wanting to be with you. Love really does make the world go around. No matter how much money you have, if you don't have love, it is all very pointless. We all moan about our partners, but the truth is you would miss them like mad if you didn't have them and you would still want to be loved. I know my boys love me and I couldn't be without them, but not quite the same.
Just actually feeling good about myself for the first time in a long time and almost attractive again. It is amazing what a bit of attention can do! Lots of people, even dates "ask if am I going my hair long again?" I am not sure. Even little Luke said this morning that he likes my hair short. He had found some photos on his camera that were from last year and we sat in bed looking at them. Now that I am getting it cut and creating the style I want I am quite enjoying the ease of it. Still have bad hair days though, and so much wax is used to flatten my mass down. It really is like a toilet brush if I do nothing with it.
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