Goodbye 2014!

Well, I can honestly say I am truly relieved that this year is over. I don't look at it negatively just glad to put the pain, sadness and illness behind me.  I have learned some hard lessons, it has taken a serisoulgy wake up call and getting cancer to bring them all home.  I have learnt what really friends do when someone is in need and it has truly amazed me the support I have been given.  So thank you to my Friends, especially to the Rotherwick Friends, you are all incredible and I could not have done it without you.  The parcels on my doorstep, the cleaning, ironing, cooking, coffee trips and holding my hand when it all got too much for me and I cried, it all made the experience a better one. Yes, I have had some disappointments in friends and family that I thought would come forward, but never did, but I think that is the lesson I had to learn, to let them go and live in their selfish world.  I read back on the comments that have been made on Facebook, even though you were not here by my side each comment help me get stronger.  I feel like this is a bit of a speech, but needed to finish 2014 on a positive and show my appreciation.

Even though it was hell it could have been a lot worse and I feel lucky that my diagnosis is so positive as there are hundreds of families out there that would have their loved ones this Christmas because of this shitty disease they are not.  My heart goes out to everyone of you.  (I'm sounding like Ben :).

Some might not agree with my actions over the last few months and some have criticized me for starting dating again.  I don't think anyone has the right to tell me how to live my life after having to endure the treatment I have had.  Yes, I might not be emotionally stable, but I try so hard to keep a level head and yes, I have made mistakes, but isn't that life, shouldn't make mistakes to learn.  Life would be far too boring if it was sunshine all the time.  I needed to go out there and feel like me again, get drunk, kiss someone just to make me feel like a human being.  I want to put the last year behind me and start living again, more so that I have ever done before.  I am sure I will make more mistakes, but as long as I learn from them, isn't that all that counts. For the first time in my life, I will live it, the way I want to, without the worry of what people may say.

Happy New Year everyone.  I am truly looking forward to 2015 even though I am full of cold.

Love to you all.

xxxxx